Someone at GameFreak said, “Draw a cartoon crab!”
And now we have Krabby.
What’s that, you say? I’m just making things up? Well, you’re right. I don’t have any direct evidence linking this claim to reality, but I do have some anecdotal evidence. First off, just, I mean, just look at it! It’s literally a cartoon crab! Secondly, Krabby’s name. It’s just crabby with a K instead of a C. That’s it. And don’t even get me started on its Japanese name.
Or do. It’s Crab. Literally crab. You can’t make this up people! Or, well, I suppose you can, but I’m not!I’m finding it very difficult to write about Krabby, much in the same way that I’d find it difficult to write about a real crab. Except Krabby is worse. Were this an article about a real crab I could go on about how crunchy crabs are if you step on them, or how I’ve never eaten a crab. I’ve eaten fake crab though, like in crab cakes and such. Like I’ve said before, I live nowhere near a coast so chances are that most of the seafood I’ve ever experienced has been processed. Like fish sticks. Fish sticks are great.
Fake crab meat is actually made out of a finely pulverized white fish meat that is then shaped to resemble a crab’s legs. There’s like 10 more steps to the process, but they’re not particularly important, I just thought you should all know that they’re still made of fish, even if they’re not really crab.
I’ve only ever had it in crab salad though. I really want to expand my horizons in seafood and crab-based cuisines, but the opportunities for that don’t really exist here. At least, not in a way I’m all that interested. I’m sure I could find myself a nice seafood dinner somewhere in town if I really wanted, but it’d probably come at a premium price, and I’m not all about that. I’d rather just walk to my grocery store, pick up some fake crab meat, and throw it into stuff. It’s still pretty good (At least to me) even if it’s not real.
I’ve never even had clam chowder, which literally everyone in the history of humanity tells me is a delicious thing. I’ve been meaning to try some sometime, but I never have. The only reasonably fresh seafood I think I’ve ever had is shrimp, which I love. I was going to go on about how I love to just pop whole shrimps into my mouth and pretend like I’m a big scary shark or something, but then I remembered that popcorn shrimp exists. As much as I love regular shrimp, I still vastly prefer the deep-fried and not-at-all like the original tasting version.
Man. Writing about seafood has made me really hungry. Who wants to come to Long John Silver’s© (REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I’M NOWHERE NEAR THE COAST?) with me?.
DID YOU KNOW?
The last bit of that was a joke, by the way. I know I shouldn’t have to say it, because the thought of Long John Silver’s advertising on an extremely obscure Pokemon blog of all places is laughable at best and the single most desperate attempt to stay relevant at worst. But I feel the need to say it just in case there’s any conspiracy nuts out there who despise being advertised to with every fiber of their being.
I do have to wonder about the people like that, though. I mean, advertising is literally everywhere. Hell, I’m pretty sure this blog has ads on it. I don’t make any money off of them, but I imagine that WordPress somehow gets a little bit of money from what I’m doing in order to continually offer this (terrible) service for free. But how does someone who is violently opposed to all forms of supposed to get by on a day to day basis? I can’t imagine you’d be able to watch TV, because that’s riddled with ads. If you buy all your TV via DVD or BluRay they even come with ads at the beginning! I guess if you go to like, Netflix exclusively or something an argument can be made.
Anyway, I got a little off track there for awhile. The point is, lighten up a little people. I don’t make any money off of this, so when I make a joke about the delicious 8-piece fried Shrimp combo available now at Long John Silver’s© for only $7.29! What a deal!
Oh, also Krabby says “cookie” in the anime instead of its name. It’s silly, but it wasn’t enough to write a full section on.
USING KRABBY IN BATTLE
Little Cup only!
Look at that Attack stat. I think that’s the highest Attack stat for Little Cup that I’ve covered so far. It may be the highest Attack stat for Little Cup period, but don’t quote me on that.
50 Speed isn’t the best, but it’s certainly workable. Give Krabby Agility, and oh my goodness if you can pull off that Agility you’ll have yourself a team wrecking machine. If you think you can pull off a second turn of boosting then Swords Dance is a great secondary move, otherwise you’ll want three attacks to use. Crabhammer is the obvious favorite, being a fantastic Water-typed STAB with only 90% Accuracy as its drawback. After that, Return, and Knock Off are also excellent contenders. Rock Slide, X-Scissor, and Brick Break are just about Krabby’s only other options for coverage though. Superpower is swappable with Brick Break if you want a much weaker version without the obvious downside of having your attack lowered after using it. Hyper Cutter is the best option for an ability, and either Berry Juice or Eviolite will increase Krabby’s survivability.
Krabby is extremely frail on the Special Defense front though, so use it cautiously.
It’s literally a cartoon crab.
It’s literally a cartoon crab.
Hilarious Attack, solid Defense, and terrible everything else. Made less terrible thanks to Little Cup though.
I LEARNED A LOT: ABOUT KRABBY/TODAY
Everyday I’m scuttlin’