I mentioned this a billion years ago

And I can’t be bothered to find it. But a long time ago I mentioned that I was going to review a fan game. Maybe I didn’t reveal it was a fan game and it was just going to be a game, but whatever.

Anyway, then I took a hiatus from this blog and I didn’t get to write that review while the game was still fresh in my mind. It was Pokemon Omicron and Zeta. Omicron specifically, a fangame by a person who goes by the name Suzerain.

Recently though I’ve been playing his new game, and since it has many of the same positives and negatives I’ll be replacing that planned review with this. It’s taking a bit longer to write than I expected though, so hold onto your butts!


#125 Electabuzz


Bad bit of timing on my part to resume this blog the day before something would take up almost a week of my life. I even knew it was coming this time! I was just so eager to resume that I wrote Jynx then and there instead of waiting until after.

Anyway, that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because of Electabuzz. This… thing has been confusing people for about 500 years now. What is it?



At first glance it seems easy. We have some yellow thing that looks furry. It has black stripes and a long tail. It’s gotta be based on a cat, right. There’s probably a bit of tiger in the design cause of the black on yellow thing, as well as the two huge fangs sticking out of its mouth.

But when taken in as a whole absolutely nothing about Electabuzz is cat-like. If anything, given its elongated limbs with thick forearms and bipedal stance, it looks more like a primate. This is further backed up by its personality.



There are certain moves that I associate with certain Pokemon even though they’re not signature moves. Thunder Punch is something I’ll probably always associate with Electabuzz, and that’s notable because cats don’t punch.

But primates don’t have long tails

Well, I guess monkeys do, but Electabuzz is definitely more big ape, like a gorilla, in body shape.

And on the dance floor.

The Pokedex says nothing of note either. Mentions are made of just how much Electabuzz loves electricity, and how it will cause power outages by eating the stuff. Also they’ll climb to high places during a storm in an effort to get struck by lightning.

My favorite Pokedex entry though is from Pokemon Platinum.

This is an important visual for the next paragraph

This is an important visual for the next bit

It windmills its arms to slightly boost its punches. Foes have been known to escape in the meantime.

So it’s basically like Donkey Kong’s neutral B in Smash Bros. There’s a nice long windup then POW, punch. Neat.


So what is Electabuzz exactly? I didn’t answer that question in the first part cause I figured it’d go better here. And because I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.



Electabuzz is likely based on an Oni, or a kind of Japanese demon. There’s lots of oni, but a particularly popular archetype seems to be a bright red-skinned Oni wearing a tiger pelt. And aside from the bright red bit, that would pretty much exactly be Electabuzz.

This is the kind of mad that no one takes seriously

This is the kind of mad that no one takes seriously

This particular brand of Oni typically has two horns like Electabuzz, though sometimes they’re depicted with a single horn. Also, they sometimes are depicted as deities of electricity and lightning. Upon discovering this fact I immediately went back to the last time I’d seen a figure that matched this red-skinned tiger wearing guy to see if my suspicions were correct.



It’s cool how stuff we may have already been aware of has connections we didn’t realize. I’ve mentioned that I’m a huge fan of fighting games, and even if it’s super cheesy I really love Super Gem Fighter. Part of the game’s many ridiculous mechanics is a random character floating through the map at times. They can be either Monkey from Journey to the West, a kappa, or a red oni.

And what happens if you touch the oni?

It's just like touching Blanka!

It’s just like touching Blanka!

You get shocked! Nobody on the internet had the decency to have ripped the Oni’s sprites from the game so I had to go and take these two images manually myself. I hope you all appreciate the extra work I go into to make esoteric references to games nobody talks about.

Really though, I thought this was cool. As a consumer of media I never put the connection between red oni and Electabuzz, and it’s kind of cool

Electabuzz still sucks though.




stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Electabuzz is bad. Real bad. That 105 Speed stat is nice but neither of its attacking stats reach 100 and that Physical Defense + HP is going to get it smashed flat in only a few turns.

Luckily, through the combination of time travel Electabuzz was given an amazing gift in Generation 4 in the form of Electivire, making it eligible for some good old fashioned Eviolite. That’ll help you tank some turns, and naturally high Speed is also going ensure you’ll probably get at least a couple of hits off.

Volt Switch is very important first and foremost. It’ll let you switch out while attacking so you can get a cheap shot in on your opponent while also scouting to see if they themselves have switched and if they haven’t, allow you time to swap to someone more prepared to handle this situation. Volt Switch is amazing, but could be stronger, so you’ll want Thunderbolt as well for a more powerful STAB option that doesn’t force a switch. Hidden Power Ice is pretty much a standard for Special Electric types that don’t have access to a better move, and that leaves you with one slot. Focus Blast fills that nicely, and is pretty much the only truly good option. If you want to surprise some people though, Psychic and Signal Beam also find their way into Electabuzz’s moveset, and can hit decently hard. Smash all of your EV’s into Speed and Special Attack while making sure your Electabuzz is Timid to make everything good.

And that’s it. Electabuzz is still bad though. Its movepool is shallow and Eviolite only changes the amount of hits it can take from 0-1 to 1-2. There are better Pokemon, and you should know better by now.


It's a critical hit to Electabuzz's self esteem!

It’s a critical hit to Electabuzz’s self esteem!


Even knowing the origin behind it doesn’t help how stupid it looks.

It’s sort of clever to turn it into some kind of cat human hybrid thing, but at the same time not clever at all. I’m torn. “Make a monster” is how they approach every Pokemon I’m sure, but most have cool themes to them, or amazing origins. Electabuzz is just some horrible amalgamation of animal parts that forms a barely coherent shape. It’s simultaneously exactly what a monster should be and nothing that a Pokemon should be.

Not the worst, but man does Electabuzz try to be.

Not all Pokemon have stupid middle stages, but Electabuzz is one of the worst offenders. I don’t know of a single person that doesn’t immediately love Elekid, and while Electivire is harder to love it has its fair share of fans. Electabuzz kind of fails to resonate with just about anyone though.

OVERALL: 1.3/5

“Raise the roof!” Electabuzz said to an indifferent crowd.

#124 Jynx

Whoa! Let’s talk this over!

What can be said about Jynx that hasn’t been said a million times over? Let’s try and take this slowly, a step at a time.

So what is Jynx? It’s Pokemon #124 is what it is. It’s also the final evolution of the only Pokemon line to be Psychic / Ice in the entire series. At least, it is for now. That could change in the future maybe.

But what is she?



I don’t know. There’s lots of very very strange things about Jynx. Everywhere. I mean I’m sure many of you are probably immediately jumping to the real life controversies about Jynx, and what she is, but I’ll get to that in the second section.


Let’s look at the facts. Jynx is very reminiscent of a humanoid female. She has hands, what appear to be visible breasts, big pink lips, and long blonde hair. She’s a Pokemon, in other words.

Or is she? I present to you one of the most bizarre things in all of Pokemon.

Ooh a Pokemon Stadium gi-OH MY GOD

Now, normally when a Pokemon is KO’d in one of the 3D games it goes into a short animation where it collapses. It’s typical, standard fare. Jynx, does not do that. Jynx completely vanishes save for the long yellow hair. So what does that mean?

There are two prevailing theories. Number 1, Jynx isn’t solid. She’s actually some kind of gaseous Pokemon that doesn’t have a solid form despite all appearances. When she gets KO’d that gas dissipates, and the one solid part of her form, the hair, is left behind.

Theory number 2, and the one that I prefer to subscribe to, is way more insane. See, Jynx is just a mass of yellow hair. Jynx is dual typed Ice and Psychic. As a type, Psychic has been known to do some pretty intense things in the Pokemon world, and creating a body for itself is well within those established limits. When Jynx gets KO’d, she loses the ability to keep her physical form up, and her true body, the mass of yellow hair, flutters to the ground.

Also the hair has Ice powers.

Also the hair has Ice powers.

Further adding to the weirdness is Jynx’s speech. The Pokedex states across several games (Starting with Pokemon Stadium) that Jynx speaks a language that is completely incomprehensible. Some elaborate by saying that it sounds like human speech, and a few even say that scientists are actively trying to determine what it’s saying. That’s a bit unusual, isn’t it? Scientists don’t care what other Pokemon are saying, and shouldn’t whatever language other Pokemon speak be just as incomprehensible?

Or what if scientists have already figured out how to understand other Pokemon. Suspend your disbelief with me for a moment.

What if scientists had managed to understand other Pokemon, and could listen in on their conversations and what not. What if then, even with that ability, they were still unable to understand Jynx. That would explain why she’s being singled out, wouldn’t it?

Now get this. In the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games you actually get to play as a human transformed into a Pokemon. As such, you’re able to speak some sort of bizarre universal Pokemon language. All Pokemon can be understood by you, and you can speak with them as well. When a Pokemon joins you they have a handful of lines relating to their current status, and a snippet of dialogue for leveling up.

Jynx though. Jynx is still a mystery. What does Jynx’s dialogue look like in Pokemon Mystery dungeon?

∞XO@#*~♪ ∞XO@#*~♪ Jynx at 51-100% HP
!!O@#*~!  !!O@#*~! – Jynx at 26-50% HP
!!!!!!~! !!!!!!~! Jynx at 1-25% HP
∞XO@#*~♪♪♪ ∞XO@#*~♪♪♪ – Jynx levels up

Jynx is spooky.




IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I’m sure this is the part that most of you reading this are interested in. Jynx was at the center of some very real controversy surrounding Pokemon back in the early 2000’s. The accusations were that Jynx is a racist caricature of black people. And it’s very hard to deny the similarities between old, black-faced Jynx, and other racist cartoon characters.

Like *sigh* Marvel's Whitewash Jones

Like *sigh* Marvel’s Whitewash Jones

Nintendo reacted as most companies would, and altered Jynx’s appearance. Her skin was changed from pitch black to a light purple. And in the decade plus since people have argued about whether or not Jynx was actually intended to be racist. Arguments range from Jynx being based on Ganguro, a Japanese fashion trend, various characters or monsters from Japanese mythology, or even just the classic design of an opera singer.

Lots of good points have been presented to the “Jynx isn’t racist” side of things, with GameTheory in particular having a well-thought-out video as to why she’s 100% innocent of all accusations.

Now, I love GameTheory. I really, really do. But I have to disagree with them here, simply because inspiration can come from more than one source. While I agree with the sentiment that Jynx is likely based on a yama-uba, I still think that once they’d come up with a general idea for Jynx’s design, they added the blackface thing because Pokemon is full of ideas like that.

See, Japan is extremely homogenous, with something like 98% percent of the people living in it being Japanese. Making them seem dumb is not my intent, but it’s a fairly well known fact that most things other nations could find racist fly over the head of Japanese people. In 2009 (Yes, 2009. Almost a decade after the Jynx thing) a Japanese actor actually performed Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” on a TV show in full blackface. It was intended to be a tribute to black culture, and the audience had no negative reaction to it whatsoever.

Just look at how big those lips are!

Just look at how big those lips are!

In short, I really think that Jynx’s design was intended to reference a woman in blackface. However, I don’t believe for a second that it was done maliciously. It was just an unfortunate side effect of Japan’s homogeneity.

BUT THAT’S JUST A THEORY. A ME THEORY. Thanks for reading.


stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Oh man what do we have here. 95 Speed is pretty alright. 115 Special Attack is nice. 95 Special Defense is also pretty nice.

Shame about the everything else. 65 HP doesn’t do much good for that 95 Special Defense, and an absolutely pitiful 35 Base Defense is just terrible. This makes Jynx an extremely risky Pokemon to use.

On the one hand it has Nasty Plot, and can get dual STABs in Ice Beam and Psychic / Psyshock. On the other hand, almost all priority moves absolutely demolish Jynx. Fake Out and Mach Punch can lay a nice meaty dent into Jynx, but Shadow Sneak, Sucker Punch, and Bullet Punch are usually a death sentence.

SO, Lovely Kiss is a move you’ll definitely want. If you want to risk playing Jynx as a sweeper, then Nasty Plot would be your next choice. Then just stick your dual STABs on top for all 4 moves. If you’re looking for more of a revenge killer then, swap out Nasty Plot for Focus Blast, or Energy Ball. Depending on situations you find yourself encountering, you may want to also consider Frost Breath instead of Ice Beam. While it is weaker (Frost Breath has 60 BP but always crits for effectively 90 BP vs Ice Beams 95 BP) and has a lower accuracy, it won’t be deterred by screens, or overly defensive Pokemon.

As a final option, you can throw a Choice Scarf onto Jynx, and have it use Trick to disable any Pokemon on the enemy team that depends on setting up. Dry Skin is always the ability you should go for to add a much-needed immunity, and you’ll want to decide between a Life Orb as an item, for more power, or a Focus Sash to get you an extra turn to save you from the inevitable OHKO.


“I’ll have some of that, please!” – No one, ever.

Yama uba, blackface, opera singers, yokai, etc etc. Jynx is a hilarious smorgasbord of random designs glued together to create a creepy Pokemon that may secretly be a pile of hair.

Too risky to rate higher, too many good aspects to rate lower.

Now THAT’S racist.

OVERALL: 2.6/5

Fun fact: Jynx’s cry is actually the longest ever


I could go into a lot of info about why I was gone, blah blah blah. But, ironically, although this is exactly a blog, it’s not really the kind of blog for that place.

I’ll just say that I’m in a better place now than I was 6 months ago, and more eager to embrace short, low commitment pieces of writing. This blog is perfect for that, and I’m more than willing to continue after I get some sleep. I mean, it can’t be that hard, right? Where did I leave off anyway?

I swear this wasn’t intentional.

Oh NO.

Update: I reread this post and laughed at how ridiculously nigh-unreadable that first bit is. That’s why I need the aforementioned sleep even though I really wanted to start right now. I could fix the top but I think I’ll leave it as it is as proof that I care.

#123 Scyther

*unsheathes scythes*

Scyther knows how to kill you seven hundred ways before you can blink, and half of those are involve mutilating your scrotum. Scyther’s design was conceived back before anyone knew anything about what Pokemon was going to be. At that time GameFreak dared to ask the question we’ve all had on our minds. What if you could create a game entirely around spin kicks? While I certainly love what Pokemon eventually became, I sometimes lie awake at night wondering what it would be like if history was different.

Each of these arms has been folded one million times.

Each of these arms has been folded one million times.

When you describe Scyther to someone your heart rate increases and your fists start to glow. A flying humanoid mantis with scythes for arms is the kind of enemy that video games aspire to be. It doesn’t help that the mad scientist responsible for creating Scyther went that extra step and added ninja DNA to the mix. Now you’ve got a five foot bug with blades for arms hiding in the tall grass and he’s pissed.

I’ve always wanted to see Scyther make cameos in other games. Something violent, and rated M for extreme violence. I want to see Bayonetta go head to head with a Scyther that isn’t limited by an E for Everyone rating. I want to see Dante, both from Dante’s Inferno and Devil May Cry, face off against a Scyther at the exact same time.

Just imagine that like, PIkachu got cut in half.

Just imagine that like, Pikachu got cut in half here.

I don’t understand why more people don’t panic when they run into a Scyther. In the games its always treated as just another wild encounter and not a “You’d better be supremely confident if you’re not going to run away” kind of thing. In Pokemon Gold and Silver you could even find Scyther as part of the bug catching challenge that you can do relatively early in the game.

You can bet your face that I took advantage of that too. I didn’t even care about winning. I just wanted a guaranteed Scyther, and wandered the grass until I found one and caught it. It also usually won (Except when someone else got lucky and caught a Pinsir) and that Scyther would come with me through the entire game. Just me and my Scyther.

Especially since Gen 2 finally added some good Bug typed moves

Especially since Gen 2 finally added some good Bug typed moves to fight off the Psychic types.

Unfortunately Generation 2 also added the thing that would kill Scyther’s appeal forever. An evolution. An admittedly also super cool evolution, Scizor. Suddenly the unstoppable rage machine that is going to hate-kill your wimpy form into shape had to play second fiddle to a bug-mech with huge mechanical scissors.

So let’s remember Scyther the way it used to be. Sharp, deadly, and annoyingly difficult to catch.

Or just, you know. However you want, really. I don’t care.

This is how I choose to remember Scyther!

This is how I choose to remember Scyther!


There is something that keeps Scyther completely unique from every other Pokemon that has ever evolved ever. It’s a little thing called stats, and Scyther’s abundance of them.

Way more than this Chikorita's.

Way more than this Chikorita’s.

For a single stage Pokemon Scyther has a pretty high stat total of 500. For reference, the generally considered hard cap on Pokemon that aren’t box legendaries is a cap of 600. All lower-tier legendaries have a base stat total of 600, along with a Pokemon per generation that is usually called a “Pseudo Legendary” and has the same stat total.

Anyway, when giving something an evolution you have to add some more stats, but with 500 there’s not much more you can add and still be safe with Scyther. So once, and only once, they created an evolution that doesn’t have a higher stat total than its predecessor. Scyther and Scizor both have a 500 combined stat total!

I mean. I thought that was super interesting. I don’t know if you guys did. Another mildly fun fact is that Scyther’s base stat total of 500 means that it has the highest of any Pokemon that can evolve. You’d think that Scyther and Scizor having the same stat total would make them pretty similar in battle, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. Why’s that? Well, it really just goes to show how certain aspects of an otherwise solid Pokemon can ruin it.


stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Typing. Typing is the difference maker. 70 HP isn’t amazing, but 80/80 Defenses are pretty decent for Scyther. On top of that you have a respectable speed in 105, and a nice 110 Attack stat. Technician is a fine ability, and Bug / Flying STABS are definitely better than Bug / Steel STAB.

Scyther is awful compared to Scizor though. Bug / Flying is an atrocious type defensively, while Bug / Steel is fantastic. Anyway, in order to use Scyther you’ll want to have it equip a Choice Band, and raise your Speed and Attack via EV Training. Technician is a fantastic ability that will raise the power of any attacks with a BP of 60 or less, making it perfect to use with the normally worthless Aerial Ace. Bug Bite is a good secondary STAB option that is also boosted by Technician, and has a great added bonus of removing any berries your opponent is holding. Your last two moves are really up to you, but the best options are Quick Attack for Priority, U-Turn, for a secondary bug STAB with a great effect, Knock Off for utility, Brick Break for coverage, and Pursuit for different utility + a move boosted by Technician.

You can also try for an Eviolite Scyther and replace a move slot with Swords Dance if you would be so inclined. Note that 4x Damage from a Rock type move will pretty much guarantee your death anyway. If Scyther had some better typing it would be a fantastic choice in battle. As it is now though it has to watch out for the dreaded Stealth Rock, and really any small pebbles anywhere.



A humanoid praying mantis with scythes for arms. Scyther is seven kinds of hardcore and they all taste like jerky.

Could certainly be worse, but Bug / Flying is a terrible type and negatively affects many Pokemon. Including Scyther.

Scyther has an awful shiny. Just the worst. I felt like I should bring that up.

OVERALL: 3.6/5
Female Scyther have a bigger abdomen! Which, uh, you can’t really see here.

#122 Mr. Mime

What's that buzzing sound?

Did it just get colder in here?





Mr. Mime is quite possibly one of my least-liked Pokemon of all time. It’s the one I hate most off the top of my head, but I also get strange, pounding headaches and lose concentration when Mr. Mime enters my head. So I’ll refrain from trying to think of anything I hate more than Mr. Mime and concentrate on pounding this out.

Mr. Mime is the worst. It’s just the worst. It has creepy horns that also kind of sort of resemble bat wings. Its torso looks like a giant Tylenol tablet that someone cut in half and glued pink gumdrops to. Then emerging from those gumdrops are stick-thin arms shaded a pale pink. Curly-toed shoes complete this hellish ensemble giving Mr. Mime a look that will haunt your dreams and eat your children.



I don’t even know what they were going for with Mr. Mime. Well, I say that because I don’t think “Soul Crushing Terror” is the kind of emotional response that they were hoping for from this weird thing. Every part of Mr. Mime’s design is unsettling, and I think adding Mime Jr. in Generation 4 was an attempt at quelling the evil that lurked in children’s closets. The evil that they unleashed when Mr. Mime was conceived.

But the strangest thing about Mr. Mime? The part that I will never understand? For some reason someone decided that Delia Ketchum, Ash’s mom from the anime, needed a Mr. Mime to hang out with her around the house.



I can only imagine that this was an attempt at humanizing Mr. Mime, and making it a bit more approachable, but it didn’t do that for me. It just made me wonder how hardcore Ash’s mom must have secretly been in order to have a Mr. Mime under her control

It can’t be easy for an abomination against mankind to be stuck sweeping and doing common household chores for a lonely housewife. Some people have used the fact that it’s just a Mr. Mime and Delia in the house all  that time as a setting for Pokemon fanfiction. The naughty kind. The kind I had to look up and make sure it existed so I could confirm I wasn’t speaking out of hearsay and hapenstance.



For as much as I hate Mr. Mime I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like seeing that evil monster having to do humiliating tasks. It’d be like stepping outside and finding Osama bin Mega Hitler sweeping your neighbors driveway. You wouldn’t want to come near him cause, I mean, come on. I’m not going near Osama bin Mega Hitler.

But it’d still be fun just to watch him do something so menial for awhile.


Every Pokemon game ever has some in-game trades you can do with NPC’s in-game. While most of these are just to have some Pokemon that you may not have for whatever reason, some are definitely unique in that they offer Pokemon you can not get anywhere else. In Generation 1, Mr. Mime was one such trade.

From this guy on Route 2

From this guy on Route 2

Well, in Pokemon Red and Blue only, this guy wanted to trade you an Abra in exchange a Mr. Mime. So you do the trade, and once you decontaminate your cartridge you’ll notice that the Mr. Mime is nicknamed Marcel! As with pretty much everything this isn’t confirmed, but is probably a reference to a very famous real life mime, Marcel Marceau.

Significantly less creepy!

Significantly less creepy!

Marcel Marceau was one of the most famous mimes pretty much ever. He went by the stage name of Bip the Clown, and actually performed for troops after the end of WWII. In the 50’s he became world famous as he spread “The Art of Silence” and even wrote a couple of children’s books. I didn’t know much about him before all this, and I wonder why they named the spawn of Satan after him in Pokemon Red and Blue.

Thankfully, that egregious error was corrected, and the Mr. Mime was named Miles in Pokemon Yellow, and Mimien in Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen.

And we all learned to appreciate mimes a little more today.

And we all learned to appreciate mimes a little more today.


stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Mr. Mime is pretty not great. Now, having said that, I would be failing in my duties if I didn’t mention that Mr. Mime was, for a short period of time, an absolute must on the most brokenly powerful type of team that popped up as a result of Generation 6’s changes to the meta. Baton Pass was always a bit of a gimmick during Generations 2-5, but the addition of a good new Speed Booster, among other small changes made Mr. Mime, who has access to the ability Soundproof, and thus immunity to Roar, a required part of running a successful Baton Pass team. Times have changed since then, the meta has evolved, and Mr. Mime is now back where it belongs. In the trash.

So, if you’re going to use one anyway, the first thing you’ll notice is its stats. Bottom heavy, but I already made the fat bottomed girls joke somewhere else, so I’ll just point out that all of its assets are in Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed.

Calm Mind is, in general, the best set a Mr. Mime can run in my opinion. Give it Calm Mind, Dazzling Gleam, and Psychic or Psyshock. For the fourth slot you’ll want either Encore, to try and lock your opponent into undesirable moves, or more coverage in the form of Shadow Ball. Leftovers or a Life Orb will complete the set! If you want a more suicidal option, then you can run Dazzling Gleam, Shadow Ball, and Focus Blast for coverage. Then, for a fourth slot, run Healing Wish to heal anything that is going to be coming in after and keep your team alive.



It gets across the whole mime + clown thing fine. Too bad it looks like it walked out of your nightmares.

Mm. Nah.


OVERALL: 1.6/5
I’ll seal you in an invisible box. Forever.