#103 Exeggutor

Not even going to try and wrap my head around this one.

Not even going to try and wrap my head around this one.

I’m willing to accept that there are people that like things I don’t like. That’s part of being an adult. If someone were to write an article saying Pokemon was dead I’d probably be like, “Hey, man, that’s not cool. Pokemon’s not dead.” and I wouldn’t start a months-long campaign wherein I waged war against that person and like-minded people.

However, I make an exception to anyone who says they like Exeggutor. No. What is there to even like? First off, Exeggutor is fat. And I’m not saying that fat things can’t be loved, but Exeggutor is an extremely awkward kind of fat. Look at the girth on that thing’s torso vs the slender legs.

No really. Just look. Let it sink in.

No really. Just look. Let it sink in.

I’m suddenly realizing how very much Exeggutor reminds me of The Simpsons. That weird, general body shape. Those uniform-thickness legs. And , most importantly, the yellow heads. They even have that weird overbite thing that Matt Groening art loves so much.

But then again, there’s no relevant Google results for Simpsons Exeggutor so I may be the only one in the history of the planet who’s noticed this. Or maybe I’m just forcing the image in my head.

BUT SERIOUSLY I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE RIGHT

BUT SERIOUSLY I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE RIGHT

So Exeggutor is based off of a coconut tree, right? No, seriously, I’m asking. Those heads don’t look like coconuts. Coconuts are brown and hairy and hard. These are yellow and smooth, and, well, they don’t look hard. They also have faces on them. Kinda like the Exeggcute from which they evolve.

This brings me to my next major problem with Exeggutor. This thing has three heads. Sure, that’s all well and good, except that Exeggcute is always depicted as six eggs. Half of the heads are lost in evolution. I’m sure someone out there will be like, “It’s a different organism! What does it matter?”

To which I say, “Read the Pokedex sometime.”

PREPARE FOR SOME KNOWLEDGE SON

PREPARE FOR SOME KNOWLEDGE SON

Legend has it that on rare occasions, one of its heads will drop off and continue on as an Exeggcute.

Both Exeggcute and Exeggutor’s Pokedex entries also state that, if separated from their group, the single eggs will use Psychic powers to find other nearby Exeggcute and form another group of six. Somehow these waves aren’t emitted while Exeggutor is attached to its body, or else it’d have Exeggcute following it at all times.

Then again…

Not this again

Not this again

Exeggutor does have access to moves like Barrage, and Egg Bomb. Maybe there really is a huge number of Exeggcute following it just offscreen and it makes use of them for these moves? I’m sure an Exeggcute can’t replace one of its lost heads instantly, so it’s not likely that it would use one of its own heads as a projectile weapon.

BUT THEN DOES THAT MEAN IT USES ITS OWN OFFSPRING AS A WEAPON? FORGET THIS. I’M DONE. I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT EXEGGUTOR ANYMORE.

Did you really think you could defeat me?

Did you really think you could defeat me?

DID YOU KNOW?

I know I started that previous thing by saying that it was impossible for anyone to legitimately like Exeggutor. Oddly enough, before I started writing, I really believed that. A lot of people like to claim that they like some idiotic thing in an attempt to be unique and earn cred with strangers online. A particularly popular unpopular example of this is Pokemon #206 which I will get to someday I swear.

But, while looking stuff up, I did find out that there is someone who legitimately loves Exeggutor.

This guy seems important.

And even then I’m a little bit skeptical

Tsunekazu Ishihara is the President and CEO of The Pokemon Company. Apparently, all through Pokemon Red and Green’s testing phases he made use of an Exeggutor, and it became his favorite Pokemon as a result of it.

That’s right. The big important guy that oversees all aspects of Pokemon. From the anime, to the games, and even the trading card game, is a big fan of Exeggutor. I can’t even wrap my head around that. How? If he likes it so much why hasn’t there been anything else like Exeggutor in future generations? Is it still his favorite? The interview I found was from 2000, and we didn’t even have Gen 3 at that time. Maybe he’s a big fan of Wailord now?

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BOTHER ME

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BOTHER ME

If I had any kind of clout I’d call him up right now and demand an updated answer. But I don’t, so I’d probably just get an automated system that doesn’t even know what a Pokemon is.

USING EXEGGUTOR IN BATTLE

stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Confession time! I wasn’t even remotely interested in battling until Generation 5. I never knew Exeggutor as anything but an awful Pokemon, when, it turns out, Exeggutor used to be amazing.

A combination of that solid Defense and HP stat, plus a very usable 125 Special Defense, and of course, its abilities, made Exeggutor a pretty decent force in battle. Small changes have accumulated over time though, and Exeggutor is largely a joke these days.

Exeggutor has two fantastic abilities at its disposal, but both require Sunlight to work at their maximum. Chlorophyll will, as mentioned before, double its Speed stat, while Harvest will replenish lost berries. You’ll want to pick between either a Sweeper role or a Defensive role then.

For Sweeper, go Chlorophyll, and slap Solarbeam onto Exeggutor. Psychic or Psyshock is a good secondary STAB, while Hidden Power Fire is a good option that the sun also boosts. Sleep Powder or Sunny Day is also good for a fourth moveslot, while a Life Orb is a good option for a hold item. If you want even more power, Choice Specs can be used, and Leaf Storm becomes a viable option over Solarbeam in the event of no Sun. Giga Drain is another solid option available, but if you’re not running a defensive variant it’s usually better to stick to more powerful attacks.

For a Defensive Exeggutor, you’ll want to hold some kind of useful berry. Sitrus is common, but I personally prefer Lum to avoid things like Toxic. Plus it means you can use Rest to heal off anything else. Sleep Powder, Giga Drain, Psychic, and Rest is standard. You can also run a Substitute + Leech Seed variant, but I prefer to keep things simple.

Unfortunately, things like Bug getting a lot of good Pokemon in Gen 5, coupled with Exeggutor’s 4x Weakness to the type has lowered its effectiveness drastically in the past two generations.

ARBITRARY SCORES

APPEARANCES: 1/5
Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Awful.

DESIGN: 3/5
It’s a coconut tree but the coconuts are heads! I mean, there’s worse Pokemon out there, but at least this is creative.

BATTLE: 2/5
If this was Generation 4 it would get a 3. If it was 3 it would get a 4. If it was 1 or 2 it would get a 5.

I MEANT TO: GET THIS/UP LAST NIGHT
But I totally forgot to write until like midnight. I’ll do another one later though.

OVERALL: 2/5
103
Those faces are dead.

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#102 Exeggcute

I refuse to eggcept this as a Pokemon.

I refuse to eggcept this as a Pokemon.

I find myself defending certain Pokemon a lot. I have to tell people that no, it’s really quite alright that Trubbish and Garbodor are based on piles of garbage. It’s okay if Klefki is based on a keyring because it’s a cute design!

I don’t do that for Exeggcute. If there’s any one Pokemon that deserves complaining about in Gen 1 it’s Exeggcute. Mostly. See, while writing this I came around to the hidden pun in Exeggcute’s design that makes me like it slightly more. I think. I don’t know. You’ll see.

WHICH OF THESE IS WORSE?!

WHICH OF THESE IS WORSE?!

Exeggcute is a strange Pokemon. It’s six eggs. Or, at least it looks like them. Maybe that’s why it was given the name Exeggcute? It was around for almost a decade before Exeggcute’s appearance was finally addressed again. Pokemon FireRed’s Pokedex states that while Exeggcute looks like a bunch of eggs, it really is closer to a bunch of seeds biologicallly.

This makes sense. It really, really does. I remember doing some dumb project in Elementary that involved snipping off the top of an egg shell, cleaning out its insides, and filling it with dirt. Then we planted some tiny plants and made a tiny planter. It was adorable.

SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BEFORE I GO MAD

SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS BEFORE I GO MAD

Then someone earlier today pointed out the big bad pun I’ve been overlooking all this time. Why is Exeggcute a bunch of eggs? Why is it a bunch of seeds disguised as eggs? Why is it a Grass type? Why does it evolve with a Leaf Stone?

For me this was world-shattering. Are you ready?

Eggplant

Eggplant

Literally a bunch of eggs. Except they’re plants. Eggplant. A pun of this caliber won’t be seen again until Generation 4’s Shaymin, a hedgehog.

Unfortunately this doesn’t really work in Japanese. Eggplants are aubergines in Japanese, and Exeggcute’s name is Tamatama, which makes little sense. But whatever, this is English, baby! Gotta stick to what I know! And I know that eggplant is a thing of beauty when it comes to puns.

The weird thing to me is how much of a Japanese thing eggplants are. Like, seriously. What is with eggplants. We had eggplants in Ice Climbers…

Are you ready for a huge list of eggplants?

Are you ready for a huge list of eggplants?

…followed up with Eggplant Man, from Wrecking Crew…

This game is super weird. Why does it even exist?

 

…and who can forget the annoying eggplants from Adventure Island…

Which are apparently so vile they will kill Professor Higgins after a short time.

Which are apparently so vile they will kill Professor Higgins after a short time.

…and the super evil eggplant from Adventure Island IV….

Notable because OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

Notable because OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT

…there’s also the unforgettable eggplant retainers from Kickle Cubicle…

Is it pronounced Cue-Bickle? Or Cue-Bick-El?

Is it pronounced Cue-Bickle? Or Cue-Bick-El?

…and Miss Eggplant from Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom…

Still one of the worst titled NES games

Still one of the worst titled NES games

…which also featured eggplant soldiers…

Don't ask why only Miss Eggplant looks like a human either

Don’t ask why only Miss Eggplant looks like a human either

…and who could forget the eggplants from the oft-forgotten Dig Dug 2: Trapped in Paradise…

Aside from, you know, everybody.

Aside from, you know, everybody.

…or the level full of them in Rainbow Islands…

And they're each worth 500 points!

And they’re each worth 500 points!

…and Kid Icarus’s eggplant wizards can also turn you into an eggplant!

The one eggplant I'm sure everyone can name from memory

The one eggplant I’m sure everyone can name from memory

I may have gone a bit overboard, but that’s because my head hurts when I try to think of Exeggcute. I also stole all of these images from Syd Lexia, a site that I love and doesn’t update nearly often enough. Click anywhere on this paragraph to visit his Eggplants in NES games page.

DID YOU KNOW?

 So, as much as I love the eggplant connection (And won’t deny that the possibility still does exist for that to be the origin) there’s a second possibility for Exeggcute’s name. See, there’s a kind of tomato that’s colloquially known as the Egg Yolk Tomato.

I really really don't like any kind of tomatoes.

I really really don’t like any kind of tomatoes.

Now, at first I thought, “Yeah, that kinda makes sense I guess, but the connection there is a little weak to me.” because I’m the smartest person ever and don’t let your local Pokemon Professor tell you otherwise.

But then I remembered something. Shinies! A quick google search later, and, yup. Exeggcute’s shiny is indeed a golden, yolky color.

But again. That’s just another theory. Do with it what you will.

I ALSO HAVE A THEORY SAYING THAT GIRL IS GOING TO EAT  THE HELL OUT OF THOSE EXEGGCUTE

I ALSO HAVE A THEORY SAYING THAT GIRL IS GOING TO EAT THE HELL OUT OF THOSE EXEGGCUTE

USING EXEGGCUTE IN BATTLE
Little Cup only!

stats via pokemondb

Exeggcute actually has a very neat gimmick it can pull off in battle. Like, seriously, until Generation 6 Exeggcute was the only Pokemon in Little Cup capable of pulling off the rather annoying Harvest strat.

Exeggcute gets access to the ability Harvest, which basically makes it so there’s a chance that it will replenish a berry after it gets eaten. This chance is upped to 100% if the Sun is out, basically making it so if you don’t kill a Harvest Pokemon in one shot it will heal back most of its lost HP before even factoring in moves that are likely up such as Leech Seed.

So, because this Little Cup, you’ll want to give Exeggcute an Oran Berry, and Leech Seed. Substitute is a great move after that (Which can also activate your Oran Berry, healing you to full immediately) while Giga Drain makes for a great attack. You can also try for Sleep Powder if you want to inflict a status instead of Leech Seeding (Which is also viable since HP amounts in Little Cup are so low) Your last slot has a few good options, and you’ll mainly want to pick between Psychic for a secondary STAB, Protect to stall out more turns for Harvest, or Hidden power Fighting / Fire for coverage.

Unfortunately, this strategy has lost a lot of its usefulness thanks to things like Knock Off being so prevalent these days. Harvest will only give you another berry if the previous one was consumed, and not if it was forcibly removed. It also doesn’t help that Exeggcute, being part Psychic, is weak to Knock Off.

ARBITRARY SCORES

APPEARANCES: 3/5
That’s right. A three out of five. Because it looks like eggs even though it’s not supposed to be. Of course, one could argue that they’re just trying to correct an old, dumb mistake of making them look like eggs in the first place, which is why it only gets a score in the middle.

DESIGN: 5/5
EGGPLANTS? EGG YOLK TOMATOES? BRILLIANT!

BATTLE: 2/5
I forgot to mention it, but the weather debuff in Gen 6 also greatly affected Exeggcute’s usefulness.

THE LACK OF EGG: PUNS IS/EGGFURIATING
I’m bad at throwing puns into everyday conversation. Have one in image form though.

THANKS FOR THE WELL WISHES

THANKS FOR THE WELL WISHES AWFUL PUN

OVERALL: 3.3/5

I refuse to acknowledge the broken egg in the back.

#101 Electrode

Still can’t quite get The People’s Eyebrow™ quite right

Sometimes I wonder if I was a weird kid. Like, I’m sure almost all of us were weird when we were kids, but it’s still something I think to myself from time to time. Sure we all liked awful cartoons and awful video games and we were all pretty dumb.

But Electrode used to be my absolute favorite Gen 1 Pokemon. I don’t know why. I felt nothing for Voltorb, but I loved me some Electrode. I can only assume that my love for Electrode comes from its expression. That permanent cocky grin is a thing of beauty and can make anything cool. Even a featureless red and white ball.

The old art is just as good

The old art is just as good

I don’t think I was some kind of crazy design genius at the time. I don’t think I took a look at Electrode, declared it was mastery of design through simplicity, and moved on. I just liked that grin. Mostly. I think I may like Electrode more when its face is not that trademark grin. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s usually pretty cool when it does.

I don't know why this one in particular is so overused

I don’t know why this one in particular is so overused

Man now I’m really trying to delve deep into my own psyche and justify my strange love for this Pokemon. I had a lot of self confidence issues growing up, but I’m pretty sure those have gone away for the most part. Maybe that’s also why Electrode is no longer my absolute favorite Generation 1 Pokemon? Or maybe I’m thinking in the wrong direction.

Never a bad expression!

Never a bad expression!

Maybe the face is what I love so much. Not the expression, like I mentioned above, but rather the fact that Electrode’s design is focused entirely on its face. If Electrode had a bad face it would be a complete and utter failure as a Pokemon, but it’s really not that bad. Incredibly unoriginal? Absolutely. But bad? Nah.

I always find myself looking at the faces of things. Like, even when I’m partaking in ahem, adult media I find a solid, emotive expression to be the best. The size of those award-winning watermelons is always secondary to a believable expression. What’s the point of having the best field in the land if the people working on them can’t communicate their joy in a sufficient manner wordlessly?

I'M CONFUSING MY OWN METAPHORS

Imagine if everyone plowing your field looked like this.

I can’t explain it, and I have no desire to pay some sort of mental-mancer a hundred million dollars to delve into my mind and find out. So, instead, I’ll just say that I like Electrode despite its simplicity. I can understand why you wouldn’t though. That just means you’re wrong though. It’s okay. We’re all wrong sometimes. Unless you’re talking about Electrode from a battling perspective. Then you’re right to hate Electrode. Electrode sucks in battle.

THIS DOES NOTHING FOR ME

THIS DOES NOTHING FOR ME

DID YOU KNOW?

GUESS WHO

GUESS WHO

Yup. It’s time to bring up Imakuni? again! I don’t think I’ve mentioned him since Doduo! In case you’re not up to the task of clicking on that link and would like a refresher, Imakuni? is basically a Japanese guy who helped a lot with Pokemon, doing TCG art, promotions, etc. He seems like a cool guy, if extremely eccentric.

Anyway, Imakuni? was part of an old Japanese rap group called Suzukisan, alongside Kobayashi! (Yes, the exclamation point is part of it like the question mark is part of Imakuni?) and Raymond (Just one name. Like Cher.) Together they made… well, a bunch of forgettable songs really. But, exactly one song was dedicated to a single, specific Pokemon. It was called, ああマルマイン, or, “Ah, Electrode.”

Well, exactly one song as far as I can tell. I just looked over the titles of every song they released and none of them mentioned a Pokemon by name as far as I can tell. While I’m discrediting myself I should add that this barely counts as a song too. But, hey! Not every Pokemon is going to have something immensely interesting about them. Sometimes they’re just gonna have a single 45 second song released somewhere twenty years ago.

Besides. The album that it’s from, “Can You Draw All the Pokemon?” Has both an adorable name and a cover that’s as equally adorable as it is incompetent. Seriously, there’s five Pokemon on the cover drawing pictures and only used two Pokemon with arms!

And Electrode is somehow wielding a crayon with its mouth

And Electrode is somehow wielding a crayon with its mouth

USING ELECTRODE IN BATTLE

stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Electrode has the highest base Speed of every Pokemon ever. Ever.

Too bad it can’t do much with all that Speed. 60/70/80 Defenses mean it’s probably going to get smashed in half from any decently hard hitting attack. On top of that, a Special Attack stat of 80 is far from the world-ending nuke that Electrode would need to properly play the role of a fast, frail attacker. Jolteon was introduced in Gen 1 too, and works much better than Electrode, even if it was a little slower.

But, that’s not important. If you’re forced to use Electrode in battle then Taunt is going to be the first thing you want. I could be speaking out of turn here, but, aside from Pranksters and Deoxys-S, I think Electrode actually has the fastest taunt in the game. Then you’ll want to either continue by setting up a Rain Dance if you’re on a rain team, or Volt Switching out of there.

There’s really not much else Electrode can do outside of that. You should be running Electrode in a Rain team because outside of that niche there’s even less that it can do. At least you can follow up the Rain Dance with perfect Accuracy 120 BP Thunder attacks afterward. Invest in more speed so Electrode will outrun absolutely everything, then keep Static as an ability.

I love Electrode, but there’s not much it can do in battle unfortunately. Maybe when there’s a Mega Electrode some day ;_;

ARBITRARY SCORES

APPEARANCES: 5/5
Check out that grin. You can’t say no to that grin.

DESIGN: 3/5
Flip Voltorb upside down then give it a completely different expression. It seems lazy but it’s also super cool.

BATTLE: 2/5
Incredibly high Speed means even less now that we’re in Generation 6 where Priority reigns supreme.

NOSTALGIA: 100/100
A MAN IN CINNABAR ISLAND WILL TRADE YOU AN ELECTRODE FOR A PIKACHU. THIS MEANS YOU CAN HAVE A LEGAL, LEVEL 3 ELECTRODE.

OVERALL: 3.3/5

Now it just needs a big fat cigar sticking out the side of its mouth.

 

#100 Voltorb

I don’t even know what to say

Oh man I haven’t done this in so long. This is so weird. I wonder if I can do it. I wonder how long I can stall for space by talking about nothing because I left on a really dumb Pokemon.

I mean. look at Voltorb. Does it look familiar to you? If it doesn’t, you may have some memory issues and should visit a doctor. If you’re sure you’ve seen it before but can’t quite put your finger on it, try scrolling up to the top of this page, and slide your eyes to the left.

Can't quite put my finger on it...

Somewhere in this general area

Voltorb is pretty much just a Pokeball with eyes. No mouth even, just two permanently angry eyes. I think I mentioned previously that there’s a theory that Voltorb is just a regular old Pokeball that got possessed by a Haunter. Due to the nature of Pokeballs, the Haunter was quickly trapped in the Pokeball and it now tries to free itself through a variety of methods. Including, but not limited to, exploding randomly.

As illustrated by this very helpful chart

As illustrated by this very helpful chart

You know what I hate? Conspiracy theories that are dumb, but also make a lot of sense. I can’t deny that this seems completely feasible, given that Haunter can pass through solid objects and also be contained within a Pokeball. And who’s to say that entering a Pokeball through unnatural means couldn’t lead to you getting stuck? There’s no precedent for this as far as I know.

Either way, I like Voltorb. Its name is super cool. What’s like, the coolest possible word for something related to electricity? Joules. But volts are a close second!

Then we need a cool name for circles. We’ve got spheres, balls, ellipses, and, oh, right orbs.

And thus Voltorb leaps into action!

And thus Voltorb leaps into action!

Voltorb doesn’t even have a mouth. No, really, look again. The line separating the two halves is, well, just a line. It’s not a mouth. It looks kinda like a mouth, completing Voltorb’s stern, angry expression, but it’s still just a line.

Despite that, it can apparently eat in Pokemon Amie. My 3DS is indisposed at the moment so I can’t check for myself, but I’ve been assured that a Voltorb can and will eat Pokepuffs in Pokemon Amie. I assume this happens the same way that other lazy Pokemon will eat food. It’ll simply bob its head up and down where a mouth would be if it had a mouth, and the Pokepuff will disappear.

What kind of a world do we live in where Pineco is restricted from eating in Pokemon Amie, but Voltorb is perfectly allowed. I’ll tell you what kind. A kind I don’t want to live in.

Or maybe all Voltorb are just Dittos

Just remember to exercise caution when checking if your Voltorb is real or a super fake Ditto. You never know when they’ll explode!

And please don't let it set off a chain reaction.

And please don’t let it set off a chain reaction.

DID YOU KNOW?

I’ve always been a sucker for cool shiny sprites. I don’t mean cool as in just a cooler alternate palette, I mean cooler in that they have secondary meanings, or cool alternate references. My favorite example of this is probably Druddigon, whose shiny sprite uses the same palette as an Irish flag for reasons I won’t go into for a long time.

But the Voltorb line is a close second.

What a pretty shade of blue.

What a pretty shade of blue.

See, Voltorb is based off of Pokeballs, like I said. Pokeballs have a nice red and white palette. Then, a shiny Voltorb is blue and white, while being based off of the next Pokeball up in the hierarchy. Great balls.

Dream_Great_Ball_Sprite

Great balls are awful. You almost always don’t need them by the time they’re introduced, and when Pokeballs finally start to lose their attractiveness you probably have access to Ultra Balls, negating the need for Great Balls entirely.

Still, the the idea is cool, and I really love it. If more shinies are ever introduced I’d love to see a whole family of Voltorbs mimicking the entire remaining set of balls. I’d use a Love Ball Voltorb, because I love the idea of a Pokemon with a big pink cartoon heart on its face.

That’s probably just me though.

This is the best result I got for Love Ball Voltorb. Cherish it while clicking for source.

This is the best result I got for Love Ball Voltorb. Cherish it while clicking for source.

USING VOLTORB IN BATTLE
Little Cup only!

stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Voltorbs stats tell you it only excels in one thing. Speed. Because of this, Voltorb is best used as a way to disrupt enemy strategies by moving first and trying to mess them up.

Taunt is a staple for fast Pokemon looking to interrupt opponent strategies. Voltorb also gets access to Thunder Wave, so the rest of your team can switch in and take advantage of a freshly slowed opponent. Volt Switch is perfect for an attack while escaping, and, if your team makes use of it, adding Rain Dance to that last slot is helpful.

Thanks to Little Cup’s overall ability to forgive low stats, Voltorb can also be used as a fast, frail Special Attacker, though the other set is definitely better. If you wanna try your hand at brooming up with Voltorb though, give it a Life Orb, Volt Switch, and Thunderbolt. Hidden Power Ice remains a good option for coverage, while Taunt remains good for utility and Signal Beam adds some additional coverage.

Definitely definitely recommend using Voltorb as a fast scout though. Check out what your enemy has, then Volt Switch out of there for someone who can handle it. Aftermath is my preferred ability, as it’ll do some nice damage to anyone that kills Voltorb via physical hit, but Static is also fairly usable.

Just keep careful with Voltorb and, as far as fast Electric types go, Voltorb isn’t too bad.

ARBITRARY SCORES

APPEARANCES: 1/5
Literally a white and red ball with eyes.

DESIGN: 4/5
I love Pokemon based off of real things, and having a Pokemon based off an item in game is still a really cool idea to me.

BATTLE: 3/5
Has a nice niche, but outside of that, well, let’s just not use Voltorb outside of its niche, okay?

GOTTA GO FAST: WHAT MEANS OF/PROPULSION EXISTS
I like to imagine that Voltorb is just permanently rolling down a hill as a way to excuse its speed.

OVERALL: 2.6/5
100n
The face isn’t even animated! It just rocks back and forth!

Kanto – Gym Leaders and Elite Four

And here we are at the finale for my grand Christmas project for 2014. I’ll be resuming writing about Pokemon daily -tomorrow-. And that’s a promise. A lot of stuff has happened and, despite all my efforts to get started on Christmas early this year I once again find myself completing things at the last possible moments. This is no different, as I started this over a month ago and I’m now finishing it one day before it’ll be posted.

But! I digress. Get ready for Voltorb sometime tomorrow, and, for now, enjoy the examination of everything else Kanto has to offer. Maybe I’ll do Johto next year. Or sooner? Who knows!

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Kanto – Routes and Locations

Welcome to part 2 of my “Holy crap I did way too much Christmas stuff” spectacular! In this one I’ll be reviewing the various routes and areas in Kanto. Sort of.

See, routes are a lot more bare, and boring than settlements. So, instead of a nice big block of text about each with some random factoids thrown in at the end, I’m going to offer each and every route an extremely short review. One sentence is the goal. Two if I’m feeling good. This is going to be quick and dirty, so get ready!

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Kanto – Cities

I do Christmas big. Very, very big. Unfortunately, as you’ve seen the past couple of months, this means that I wasn’t able to devote as much time to reviewing Pokemon as I would have wanted to. I still can’t show you any of the things that I worked on that took my time away from me, but, hey, I figured you guys deserve a Christmas present too. I may not have much of a fanbase here at all, but I just didn’t feel right celebrating Christmas without doing something here to. So, here it is. The Reviewing Pokemon Christmas Special. Kanto.

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