I’m willing to accept that there are people that like things I don’t like. That’s part of being an adult. If someone were to write an article saying Pokemon was dead I’d probably be like, “Hey, man, that’s not cool. Pokemon’s not dead.” and I wouldn’t start a months-long campaign wherein I waged war against that person and like-minded people.
However, I make an exception to anyone who says they like Exeggutor. No. What is there to even like? First off, Exeggutor is fat. And I’m not saying that fat things can’t be loved, but Exeggutor is an extremely awkward kind of fat. Look at the girth on that thing’s torso vs the slender legs.
I’m suddenly realizing how very much Exeggutor reminds me of The Simpsons. That weird, general body shape. Those uniform-thickness legs. And , most importantly, the yellow heads. They even have that weird overbite thing that Matt Groening art loves so much.
But then again, there’s no relevant Google results for Simpsons Exeggutor so I may be the only one in the history of the planet who’s noticed this. Or maybe I’m just forcing the image in my head.
So Exeggutor is based off of a coconut tree, right? No, seriously, I’m asking. Those heads don’t look like coconuts. Coconuts are brown and hairy and hard. These are yellow and smooth, and, well, they don’t look hard. They also have faces on them. Kinda like the Exeggcute from which they evolve.
This brings me to my next major problem with Exeggutor. This thing has three heads. Sure, that’s all well and good, except that Exeggcute is always depicted as six eggs. Half of the heads are lost in evolution. I’m sure someone out there will be like, “It’s a different organism! What does it matter?”
To which I say, “Read the Pokedex sometime.”
Legend has it that on rare occasions, one of its heads will drop off and continue on as an Exeggcute.
Both Exeggcute and Exeggutor’s Pokedex entries also state that, if separated from their group, the single eggs will use Psychic powers to find other nearby Exeggcute and form another group of six. Somehow these waves aren’t emitted while Exeggutor is attached to its body, or else it’d have Exeggcute following it at all times.
Exeggutor does have access to moves like Barrage, and Egg Bomb. Maybe there really is a huge number of Exeggcute following it just offscreen and it makes use of them for these moves? I’m sure an Exeggcute can’t replace one of its lost heads instantly, so it’s not likely that it would use one of its own heads as a projectile weapon.
BUT THEN DOES THAT MEAN IT USES ITS OWN OFFSPRING AS A WEAPON? FORGET THIS. I’M DONE. I’M NOT THINKING ABOUT EXEGGUTOR ANYMORE.
DID YOU KNOW?
I know I started that previous thing by saying that it was impossible for anyone to legitimately like Exeggutor. Oddly enough, before I started writing, I really believed that. A lot of people like to claim that they like some idiotic thing in an attempt to be unique and earn cred with strangers online. A particularly popular unpopular example of this is Pokemon #206 which I will get to someday I swear.
But, while looking stuff up, I did find out that there is someone who legitimately loves Exeggutor.
Tsunekazu Ishihara is the President and CEO of The Pokemon Company. Apparently, all through Pokemon Red and Green’s testing phases he made use of an Exeggutor, and it became his favorite Pokemon as a result of it.
That’s right. The big important guy that oversees all aspects of Pokemon. From the anime, to the games, and even the trading card game, is a big fan of Exeggutor. I can’t even wrap my head around that. How? If he likes it so much why hasn’t there been anything else like Exeggutor in future generations? Is it still his favorite? The interview I found was from 2000, and we didn’t even have Gen 3 at that time. Maybe he’s a big fan of Wailord now?
If I had any kind of clout I’d call him up right now and demand an updated answer. But I don’t, so I’d probably just get an automated system that doesn’t even know what a Pokemon is.
USING EXEGGUTOR IN BATTLE
Confession time! I wasn’t even remotely interested in battling until Generation 5. I never knew Exeggutor as anything but an awful Pokemon, when, it turns out, Exeggutor used to be amazing.
A combination of that solid Defense and HP stat, plus a very usable 125 Special Defense, and of course, its abilities, made Exeggutor a pretty decent force in battle. Small changes have accumulated over time though, and Exeggutor is largely a joke these days.
Exeggutor has two fantastic abilities at its disposal, but both require Sunlight to work at their maximum. Chlorophyll will, as mentioned before, double its Speed stat, while Harvest will replenish lost berries. You’ll want to pick between either a Sweeper role or a Defensive role then.
For Sweeper, go Chlorophyll, and slap Solarbeam onto Exeggutor. Psychic or Psyshock is a good secondary STAB, while Hidden Power Fire is a good option that the sun also boosts. Sleep Powder or Sunny Day is also good for a fourth moveslot, while a Life Orb is a good option for a hold item. If you want even more power, Choice Specs can be used, and Leaf Storm becomes a viable option over Solarbeam in the event of no Sun. Giga Drain is another solid option available, but if you’re not running a defensive variant it’s usually better to stick to more powerful attacks.
For a Defensive Exeggutor, you’ll want to hold some kind of useful berry. Sitrus is common, but I personally prefer Lum to avoid things like Toxic. Plus it means you can use Rest to heal off anything else. Sleep Powder, Giga Drain, Psychic, and Rest is standard. You can also run a Substitute + Leech Seed variant, but I prefer to keep things simple.
Unfortunately, things like Bug getting a lot of good Pokemon in Gen 5, coupled with Exeggutor’s 4x Weakness to the type has lowered its effectiveness drastically in the past two generations.
It’s a coconut tree but the coconuts are heads! I mean, there’s worse Pokemon out there, but at least this is creative.
If this was Generation 4 it would get a 3. If it was 3 it would get a 4. If it was 1 or 2 it would get a 5.
I MEANT TO: GET THIS/UP LAST NIGHT
But I totally forgot to write until like midnight. I’ll do another one later though.
Those faces are dead.