#117 Seadra

Now do it again, but angrier! And sharper!

It’s been 10 long days since I did Horsea. Sometimes life likes to grab you by the cheeks and throw you around for awhile, so you can’t spare the time required to write dumb, mildly amusing articles about Pokemon. But now I’m back, and I’m going to make a goal for myself here and now. Within 30 days of this being posted, I will be done with Generation 1, and be on Generation 2! In addition, I’ll make up for my 10 days of absence by doing an extra feature. Another review, but this time, of a fan game. A fan game I am not a fan of. Stay tuned!

Horsea has gone through some growing pains and become the much more intimidating Seadra. Or, at least Seadra is pretty much as intimidating as you can get a seahorse to look without strapping real weapons onto it. All the nice smooth curves are gone and have been replaced with innumerable sharp edges, and a scaly belly.

It’s still just a seahorse though. A three foot eleven seahorse, but it completely lacks any sort of teeth to make it scary.

BOO ON THAT AWFUL PUN

BOO ON THAT AWFUL PUN

I mentioned it last time but I do like how Seadra’s eyes are black now. it’s a subtle thing to make it look more intimidating for reasons I can’t properly explain. Why are black eyes intimidating? I don’t know, and neither do you, so don’t even lie and say you do.

Unless you’re like, an actual expert on visual arts and such. Then go ahead, and please explain. I’d like to know! I find that sort of thing fascinating.

Unlike Seadra, who’s just kind of… there.

Don't say it in front of the Seadra!

Don’t say it in front of the Seadra!

I mentioned it ages ago but I’ll mention it again here. Generation 1 was actually intended to have 190 Pokemon initially, instead of the 151 we got. Included in the 39 that were cut was Horsea’s second evolution, Kingdra. Seadra was probably never intended to be released as a fully evolved Pokemon, and it definitely does have a mid-tier look to it compared to most of the other Pokemon in Generation 1.

But do you know what really bothers me? Horsea and Seadra are the first Pokemon numerically that absolutely can not function outside of the water. I suppose an argument can be made for Tentacuel and Tentacruel, but we don’t know how strong those tentacles are. We do know that their bodies are primarily water, so they’re not exactly bulky.

This is a whole other level though.

This is a whole other level though.

Seadra’s body ends in a cute little curly tail thing. It can’t uncurl that, and have a makeshift leg to stand on, and, given its shape, there’s no way that it can even attempt to work on land.

But you know what? I’m glad that Seadra has this distinction. Because there is absolutely nothing to talk about with Seadra. While Seadra may be the first one numerically, it’s definitely not the only Pokemon that can’t work on land, as the very next line is Goldeen, and soon after that we have Magikarp. So, let’s all give a thanks to Seadra, for being in the right place at the right time, and saving me from writer’s block.

DID YOU KNOW?

¬†Evolution! It’s what Pokemon do when whatever their personal random requirements to do so are fulfilled. It’s rather different from real life evolution, and a few scholarly individuals have pointed out that “evolution” in Pokemon is something more akin to metamorphosis.

IGNORE THE FACT THAT SEADRA IS STANDING OUT OF WATER

IGNORE THE FACT THAT SEADRA IS STANDING OUT OF WATER

However, whether you believe in evolution or not, Seadra’s Pokedex entries actually make reference to the real life version. Ahem, and I quote, from Pokemon HeartGold.

An examination of its cell revealed the presence of a gene not found in Horsea. It became a hot topic.

Awful clothing stores aside, this is an interesting reference to real life evolution, where, well, exactly that happens. Genes not found in the older species will pop up in the newer ones, giving them different traits, even if not visible. Of course, in context, it also makes sense as it’s referencing Seadra’s affinity to the Dragon type, and how it’ll evolve if traded holding a scale.

And, yeah. That’s it. Seadra is boring. I don’t know what you expected. If you want more, wait about 4 years for me to get to Generation 6 when I’ll talk about Dragalge and complain about how they based 2 different Pokemon off of Seahorses. Although I suppose Dragalge is more of a leafy green sea dragon than a regular sea horse.

Legitimately thought this was dead at first.

Legitimately thought this was dead at first.

USING SEADRA IN BATTLE

stats via pokemondb

stats via pokemondb

Look at those stats. Absolutely disgusting.

Eviolite, Substitute, Disable. You’re basically Gengar, but not nearly as fast, and not nearly as great offensively. Eviolite is a huge boon though, and can help you tank hits assuming you invest in some HP.

After that? There’s not much else Seadra can do. Hydro Pump is a nice strong STAB, but with 95 Base Special Attack, you might just be better off using Scald instead and fishing for burns.

GET IT? FISHING! BECAUSE-

Anyway, as for your last move, you’ll want to probably stick Ice Beam onto the set. Ice is always a fantastic coverage type, and the only other real attack worth considering that Seadra has access too is Dragon Pulse. Unfortunately, despite the name, Seadra is not a Dragon type yet, and Dragon is a terrible type for attack coverage. Doubly so since the only thing it hits Super Effectively, itself, is also hit SE by Ice.

Seadra is not an exceptional Pokemon by any means. You should definitely only be using it in situations where terrible Pokemon are allowed to flourish.

ARBITRARY SCORES

APPEARANCES: 3/5
I guess this is as intimidating as a Seahorse can get. I definitely would be more afraid of a Seadra than a Kingdra, I can tell you that much.

DESIGN: 2/5
Lazy. Add spikes and sharp edges to the nicely curved Horsea, and you get a Seadra. Still looks kinda cool, I guess.

BATTLE: 2/5
At least it has a gimmick!

10 DAYS: AND YOU COME BACK/WITH THIS?
I’m sorry! I really am. But I want to be over and done with Generation 1, and I fully intend to do that within the next month. I also want to write that review I mentioned, and I’ll be contributing a piece to another blog soon. When that’s done I’ll make sure to link it from here!

OVERALL: 2.3/5
117
Keep flapping those fins. They won’t do any good on land.

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