Sup dawg, we put an egg inside yo egg
Chansey is pink and round. She’s shaped like an egg. She’s also got a pouch on its front that also has an egg. She’s weak on the offensive, but strong on the defensive. She’s got a permanent smiled etched into her face.
That’s all there is to say about Chansey.
This is more or less Chansey’s job in game.
For the games at least. I was really worried about writing this because I was like man, what is there to really say about Chansey? Then, much to my surprise, I discover that the anime has an extremely different view of Chansey. A cartoonish, completely inaccurate view.
I normally save talk of stats for the last section of a review, but I’m going to bring this up now. Chansey has the absolute lowest Attack stat of all. 721 Pokemon and Chansey is the absolute lowest, with 5. For reference, the weakest Pokemon in terms of stats overall is Sunkern, which still manages to have a 30 in every stat.
Say that to my face not online and see what happens.
The anime, however, seems to make Chansey out to be some kind of world-ending monster. Beneath that big, goofy smile is the mind of a killer. Chansey will end your life in a heartbeat and smile while doing it.
I have to actively remind myself that Chansey is phenomenally weak in game. Fair warning, the images in this article may disturb you.
Tonight… you.
What makes this more disturbing is that Chansey is also frequently associated with Pokemon Centers and Nurse Joy in the anime. It’d be like finding out that all the hospitals in your town are secretly run by the mafia. The scary mafia. The kind that make a living murdering the living hell out of people, and not running casinos or something.
I don’t like it.
SINCE THIS IS TECHNICALLY NOT VERY EFFECTIVE I’LL HAVE TO HIT YOU TWICE AS MANY TIMES
You know what else is awful? Chansey’s eggs. See, everyone likes to laugh and say that Chansey is a cannibal because the move Softboiled very strongly implies that Chansey eats its own eggs. But Softboiled isn’t the only egg-based move that Chansey uses. It also gets access to Egg Bomb, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like.
Platinum’s Pokedex confirms that Chansey lays these eggs themselves, but that they contain no Pokemon. That’s all well and good, but now I have to wonder just how quickly a Chansey can lay an egg. It gets 10 PP for Softboiled, so that implies it can produce 10 in a relatively quick period of time. That 10 can be raised to 16 PP though, thanks to PP Ups. On the other hand, Egg Bomb has another 10 PP that can also be raised to 16 thanks to the power of PP Up.
Chansey can produce, at minimum, 32 eggs in a single battle without the need for medicine. And that’s why I can only assume that any Exeggcute that get separated from their group wind up in a Chansey’s grasp.
This may look cute but the undertones are sinister.
DID YOU KNOW?
First things first. In Japan, Chansey’s name is Lucky. That makes everything else I’m about to mention very strange. At least I think it’s strange. Or at least very lazy.
The nurse is ready to see you now! =D
So, aside from Arceus, who has that whole plate gimmick going on, Chansey’s line actually has the highest number of items related to it! For starters we have the Lucky Punch, an item so phenomenally useless I’m not even going to bother explaining what it does (Except I will it raises Chansey’s crit chance by 2 stages which is amazing if not for the fact that Chansey is absolutely atrocious as an attacker). Next up is the Luck Incense, which is how you hatch Happiny out of eggs, instead of Chansey. Then there’s the Oval Stone, which your freshly hatched Happiny needs to evolve into Chansey. And finally we have the most actually useful of these items, the Lucky Egg, which will raise your exp gained by 50%.
Notice how 3 of those have Luck in them. I don’t know if Japan is just really uncreative, or if they really like the name Lucky.
Have a cute gif for once.
USING CHANSEY IN BATTLE
stats via pokemondb
Wow. Those stats. It’s very very obvious what role Chansey is meant to play in battle. This is also the first time in ages that I’ll be talking about a Pokemon that is actually insanely strong in battle.
Why’s that? Eviolite. Pump all your EV’s into both Defense stats, and give Chansey Eviolite. Congratulations, you now have a Pokemon so insanely bulky that other Pokemon weep when they try to destroy it. Be careful of Knock Off though!
Anyway, that’s really all there is to it. No matter what you run your Chansey will probably be an effective teammate. You’ve got two main ways to plan this out though. You can either be a strong defensive unit, or support the rest of your team. Either way, Toxic is going to be your main way to deal damage in a timely manner. Or Seismic Toss, in case of Taunting. Or both! Softboiled should be used if it’s going to be standalone, but Wish is better if it’s going to support. Natural Cure is 100% the ability you should go with, so that Chansey can’t be defeated via Toxic unless it’s the last Pokemon on your team. Stealth Rock and Heal Bell are also excellent choices for Chansey to support your team.
Just, again, watch out for Knock Off users. With Eviolite the amount of bulk Chansey has on both ends is absolutely fantastic, but if it loses that item it immediately becomes extremely susceptible to Physical Attacks.
ARBITRARY SCORES
APPEARANCES: 4/5
Cute as a button.
DESIGN: 2/5
What even is this? An egg with a tail?
BATTLE: 5/5
I hate fighting Chansey. I hate it because good players can keep it around and away from Knock Off users for a looooooong time.
CHANSEY IS CONFIRMED: TO LAY/EGGS?
Yes, actually. The eggs Chansey uses in battle appear to be unique from regular Pokemon eggs, though. Chansey’s Platinum Pokedex entry confirms that the eggs are laid by Chansey herself though.
OVERALL: 3.6/5
My defenses are impregnable. My style is impetuous.
Reviewing Pokemon 